Yet another dream featuring Emyr... no. Lalein.
Lots of tags this time, because we have to. "I" in this case is Sophia but murky, with bits of Colleen also witnessing this dream.
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First part of the dream - Lalein as a child, desperate to escape his current circumstances at home. He was running blindly through a sunny urban corridor, dodging people and diving into the shadows to swim. As he followed a crowd's shadow into a patch of sunlight, he was accidentally left stranded in the shadow of a tiny pebble as the people flowed away, and the shadow was so small that he was constricted as if tortured. He could feel himself suffocating, gasping for air in nonexistent space as his form was crushed to fit that tiny sliver.
He still didn't leave the shadow, though. I watched him write with blood. The handwriting did not look like Lalein's mature script - it looked like Emyr's, Lalein's blended with Adriano's, but a child's scrawl. He wrote, "I would rather be tortured than go back there."
This portion faded to the next.
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Second part of the dream - I was watching a disorganized orphanage, and through the lens of a girl of approximately seven or eight years old. She was begrudgingly wandering around a room with multiple bunk beds. She was cleaning up while the supposed caregivers were shooting the shit, talking, ignoring the many children there. There must've been at least two dozen kids, some as young as infants in cradles. She was the oldest and she was the only person taking responsibility for everyone around her.
As the leader of this orphanage, a priest in a black outfit, scathed at her for bumping into him with an arm full of laundry, she dropped the bundle and absolutely lost her shit. She screamed at all of them, even throwing something at the priest, like a bedside clock or something. At first they were trying to grab her to discipline her, but she kept evading capture, lancing around the room while still screaming. At some point she was so poignant with her words that they hung their heads in shame. She was articulating things such as, "Even I, a child, can tell that in your hearts you have no love or compassion for these children! You are milking us for money and leaving us to rot! Do you even know when was the last time you changed [Baby]'s diapers? You are breeding a catastrophe!"
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Third part of the dream - It was through my POV, and I was working at a mall. At first it was pleasant, after hours when all the shops were closing, and I was chatting with Cassandra V, our old neighbour from the condo. We were wandering through the doors when rain began to torrentially downpour, and I bid her farewell as she rushed to her car. Then, I turned back inside the mall.
I could tell in the dream that I was trying to live there, sneakily, because I had nowhere else to go. I went to this evening spa area, a location you could rent out for showering and changing, much like some airports. I was the only person in the place, going into my changing stall, which was like a fully enclosed changeroom with locked door, mirror, and podlights. I noted a small metal panel nearby which, when I flipped all the way open, I realized was a towel deposit.
As I stripped fully, I heard footsteps outside of my stall. At first I paid it no mind, thinking there was another patron, but then a man entered and I flinched. "Hey!" I cried, covering myself with my hands quickly. "This stall is occupied!"
The man was only in a pair of jeans. He looked like a cologne model, caucasian with an eight pack abdomen and a short beard. But his dark eyes flashed at me and he said, "Oh, I know."
He grabbed me by the arms and slammed me against the back wall. I suddenly realized in horror that he was about to sexually assault me.
He kicked the door closed behind him when I tried to struggle out of his vice grip. I kicked his stomach and he grunted, but used his other hand to pin me to the wall by the throat. My scream came out gargled but I made enough noise, slamming myself against the small towel deposit window. It opened and I met the eyes of a surprised woman on the other side. Instead of helping me, she glanced at the man, nodded, and quickly shut the window.
It was a repeat crime, and these two were in on it.
As the rapist went to touch me, I screamed for Lalein.
In many past dreams, documented in this journal, whenever Lalein comes to help me out of these terrible situations, usually there is an element of destruction. Usually there is chewing, biting, a sense of power and erasure. This time, Lalein was a child. He came out of the shadow behind the mirror and was no more than ten years old. He looked sad and dishevelled and bony. But when he realized what was happening to me, he sharpened like a feral little animal.
Lalein threw himself at the man's torso, biting, clawing, chewing. The man yelped, turning his attention away to punch and kick Lalein furiously. When the man doubled over after a particularly nasty bite, with all my might, I shoved my thumbs into his eyes and felt them pop.
The man screamed and fell to the ground. I didn't even think. I grabbed Lalein by the hand and we sprinted out of there. I was fully naked and he was stumbling, but we ran out into the violent storm outside of the mall. Luckily it was a hot summer storm, so I was showered with the warmth. I looked at him in the wan light. The rain washed the blood off both of us, but he stared back with haggard, lost eyes. With nowhere else to go... I took him back to the orphanage.
It was no surprise to any of us that I was the older girl in this dream. Hand in hand, we quietly went back, where one of the caretakers exclaimed upon seeing me naked, but at least they hurried us inside.
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It is now 7:45am; we woke up 45 minutes ago to this horrifying debacle of a dream. I have checked and Emyr has fused back, but he looks exhausted. He murmured that the Lalein parts of him are currently activated by something, but the Adriano parts are holding him steady.
Damn, Emyr, I'm sorry. What a godawful dream for both of us.
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