Work stress dream - March 25, 2020

Updating dreams continued.

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Nightmare again. Colleen woke in front having had a painful dream about social ostracization and passing out in an autumnal wood.

I switched and we went back to sleep around 6 AM and this time I had the nightmare.  I dreamed I had too much work to do and there was no electricity at work, which became on the tallest floor of a mall I would frequent in China. 

At nightfall after electricity came back I was trying to rush upstairs because apparently I forgot to do some work and Daniela, one of the designers, and Will the sales vp were both there, and so was my manager.

And I was so overwhelmed that I started to cry hysterically, the escalator was only going downward so I went to take the stairs and I couldn't get up the stairs because they were angled like slides. When I finally got up to my "desk" it became an elementary school desk and looked like my seventh grade classroom.

I found nearly six jobs in my desk and all of their date and due times were scrambled.  I was dissociating even in my dreams. Evelyn my coworker noticed because I was dizzy and woozy and unable to fish out all the dockets and sticky notes. I ended up working on the jobs until the clock said 11pm and even then I was still crying because I wasn't getting anything done.

I wanted to give the work to Daniela, at least a portion

But she said, "You know if you give it to me, you lose, right?

And Will was hovering over my shoulder wanting it done Now because it was an important and easy job for Apple.

Eventually there were these moles that started to show up in the floor of my "office" and they were creating sinkholes that eventually curdled like lava, so I had to get out but not before I read on the computer screen an email warning about my poor performance and how that will jeopardize whether or not I'm employed.  

I just woke up having been escaping from the mole.  

Bad times.

I'm Innocent - March 3, 2020

Uploading dreams from texts again:

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Hey, I had a bad dream.


I dreamed I was staying at this hotel/house Sims thingy, and Angel was there too.  It was really vivid and really sensory-laden. The gist of the dream went like, there was a serial killer there. In this hotel thing were a bunch of people I knew - classmates, coworkers, Tina and Kevin, my parents on both sides, etc.  The serial killer murdered a bunch of the classmates/coworkers

Angel discovered where this person had stripped the victims and stashed the clothing, he hadn't been caught but various body parts had been discovered so that people knew there was a serial killer around.  And when Angel discovered the clothes, she tasked me with burning them. However it was such a large amount I took the whole like wagon full and was mulling over what to do. It would've been hella suspicious, and I also wanted to keep some of the clothes and sort through who they belonged to so I could return it to the families... but some were bloody and terrible so I was going to sort them out and burn those.

In the middle of the dream I was very paranoid. I didn't want anyone to think me and my wagon of clothing was suspicious so I had to figure out where there weren't security cameras. I ended up stashing it in my bathroom behind the curtain there and figured I'd get to sorting it later.

I was distracted by the middle of the dream. There were Greek gods involved, something like a dispute between Hera and Hestia, and Hestia was so pissed she was ready to burn the apartment down, so I went to mediate and it resolved. My anxiety was real high by then.

So then I went back to my room, only to discover my father's family had put an aunt in there that I had never met, and she discovered the bloody clothing.  She was lying in my bed wailing.  Soon my father's family came and discovered the stash, and the way they looked at me told me they thought I was the killer.

I remember their interrogation and ganging up on me, my father and aunt and uncle, and I remember realizing and saying out loud that they never loved me

That they would jump to this conclusion before hearing me out... Y'know.

I remember smashing a lamp and yanking out the electric cord and trying to strangle myself to death in front of them.  They jeered about me being melodramatic until I stuffed the cord down my throat and I suffocated.

There was water in my room for some reason so my body floated there. I died and the spirit I became just hung around that room. I remember my dad's family proceeding like I hadn't died even though my corpse wa right there and they all were quietly freaking out. I even got into my father's bed at some point haunting him and asking him questions, like, why did you think I was the killer, why do you still think so now that I've gone and killed myself?

He argued with the spirit of me for a bit, like, I knew what you were capable of, you may have died but it doesn't counter evidence, why are you haunting me?

And I remember snapping at him, "So you will die too."

Then my mom's family and Tina and Kevin came back

They walked into my room and blankly stared at my corpse

Tina found a suicide note I'd written just before I strangled myself and it was full of apologies to them and Angel for letting the secret of the clothing out and all that.  And then I heard my mom start hysterically screaming.

And I woke up.

I'm a bit shaken.

Headspace dreams ft friends - Feb 25, 2020

I'm finding some dreams I wrote out in texts to friends, trying to document them here

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I had a dream about Milly and Casmir, all three of us together.

There was an obelisk in the desert of what I think is Cash's headspace, the sky was a deep blue and the obelisk had a platform in the centre studded with jewels.  When any of us stepped in the middle, the obelisk would transform the space around it into whatever our mind deemed accurate for the jewel we pressed.  I went first and when I pressed the amethyst the space around us in a ring became an intricate series of Gothic hallways spiralling up to a bell tower.  And when I pressed the emerald I got a wooden house structure and it'd build around us and the platform.

When Cash went to it, she pressed gold obsidian and the obelisk itself transformed into a shimmering gold texture, like some sci fi lithos.  It blossomed a few tall walls that curled like aurum lily petals above us but were made of sand.  And her amethyst turned the obelisk into a towering glimmering black shield looking thing with a huge amethyst in the centre, and around us became this like, vertically growing calcite looking series of walls like a maze.

I remember Milly remarking on this like "wow it's so different for both of you" and it's true, mine became always some sort of building whereas Cash's became these dreamscape works of art.

We could circle the platform and walk around the obelisk transformations and at some point as we walked through Cash's maze we rested at an area that was off the side of this platform obelisk land, an old barn like area except the inside was Etruscan wall paintings faded and chipped all over.

I remember feeling excited bc I could recognize the architecture and explaining to them in a nerd rush the arches and art style and likely year it showed up, lmao! 

We didn't end up going to give Milly a turn on the platform bc the dream changed.  I know we made our way out of the structure and I know we followed the distant figure of Avangeline across the desert to a sheer tall desert plateau. It wasn't even hot, just empty and gold.  Instead of taking us up the plateau she gestured for us to go off to the right. I saw the figures of Azrael and Cerulean, with Ruly much smaller and laughing as Azrael bounced him on his shoulders.  

When we followed there was an industrial staircase built up the plateau and as we ascended to the top I shit you not there was a door, we went through it like the Truman Show out to a subway and city.

We then were about to go to some sort of eco conference led by a Jane Goodall-esque lady, so we had to take the subway. I remember wanting to sit down in the middle between you two but Milly  had transformed into what looked like if Hoshoku and Eden had a love child LMAO!  A super tall Korean-esque boy in Japanese street clothes and deep black eyes and short black hair, except tall and plump like shoku.  This registered to me as an alter switch.  

And so the boy plopped down in the middle and I pouted like "Wait I want to get to link arms with both of you" and this boy gave me lip, like, what are you going to give me in exchange for me moving?

And I said "my undying love and affection"

So the guy paused and shrugged and moved over a spot so I could plop down hehe~

At the conference room we were separated as I went to the bathroom, this fancy single room toilet kind. As I was heading out of the room a teenaged girl with natural hair came and yanked over the door and suddenly screamed at me - like a peekaboo surprise, she was probably mistaking my bathroom for one her friend was in.  Except this triggered a heart attack in me? I felt myself fall flat on the floor as the world began to wooze around me. I was hyperventilating and I could feel my heart pounding way too fast.

When the girl stopped laughing she knelt in like blank surprise bc it didn't register to her that we didn't know each other till after I keeled over. She went to touch me like "omg are you okay?"

And I remember feeling wrong, like, my body felt like it was disappearing

I struggled to kneel with her support and then I uh... bit her in the throat.

I woke up because I actually bit my pillow just now. Like there are clear teeth imprints and they are deep.


So! That was my dream and I'm off to try and sleep again