Last night I dreamed I was chosen for war.
It was a recurring fight, in which every year (or every decade, I was told two different dates in my dream by the standard inhabitants within) the goddess of light and the god of darkness would choose a champion to pit against one another. A princess of light would fight a prince of darkness. We were to try and rid of either side the forces of light and darkness, all being humans who allied themselves with either god. And I was chosen by light.
Of course, the dream started out with me and a bunch of my friends and family in a small apartment, and they had been hiding meQ. I had been chosen but I was terrified, seeing the humans allied with light and darkness fight each other and glimpsing at the savagery of the battlefield. In my dream my friends sympathized and began to protect me, and I was being kept with a priest who could convert me into the goddess' avatar at any time. I remember staring warily down the hallway of the apartment and the whole hall was pitch black, signifying to me that the dark side had taken over most of the building and probably killed the people who harbored light.
It was here that I ventured out cautiously without telling anyone. They had been hiding me for so long. In a way, because I was not prepared to become the princess, I was being held captive by my own people. Granted it was to make sure that I was safe and didn't get killed before I transformed but I felt suffocated nonetheless, choosing to quietly sneak out on my own.
When I got to the end of the hall I was greeted by warriors allied with the dark. I recognized them despite their appearance being the exact same as people on my side, and I cried out and ran back. Once I reached the apartment I realized it was partially in flames, destroyed. With many of my friends trapped under fallen beams or running or fighting hand to hand with the dark, I found the priest bleeding and dying in the corner of the room. I ran to him and picked up his upper body, crying out, "I want to become the princess! Turn me into the princess!"
And the old man looked at me, his wary yellow-gray eyes boring into mine for a second before he shakily got to his knees and told me to kneel. I did. Then he told me to stand and kneel again. I kneeled and stood three times, my knees feeling sore from the impact of the kneeling, and then he put his hand over my chest, his fingers glowing as he uttered a spell: I began to hurt, clutching my chest and doubling over. It felt like a dagger of light was beginning to pierce my soul. My friends cried out in concern for me but I was determined. With a scream I let the spell take me and transform me, and I burst in an explosion of light. The second I changed all the fire and destruction and dark siders disappeared, leaving all of us light siders teleported to a beautiful, misty, half-raining grove beside a lake with many, many trees. I stumbled naked out across the fallen logs, feeling the stares of the light siders on my form. I looked different from myself, with long and soft waving brown hair that I could see in my peripheral vision and pale, pale skin. I was transformed, their savior, their champion princess. Silently I wandered through this grove and wherever I went I found people emerging from what looked like houses built into trees, stopping and looking at me. There were wounded people here too, and when I approached them to lie my pale hands on them, they glowed and then struggled, fully healed, back on their feet in murmured confusion. Soon I wandered down more fallen, mossy trees, and was confused when I found a part of the woods sectioned off by soft, luxurious violet gauze. When I parted the curtains, I found Her.
The goddess, of course. I recognize her now as Palutena from Kid Icarus, a videogame I played while awake. Her long emerald hair swished and her golden bangles shone beautifully as she laughed and waved her attendants away. She turned to me with the same soft smile as her attendants, her beauty and gentleness astounding. The goddess and I had a conversation, where she told me that she had picked me as the princess a while ago, before the dark god picked his prince, and was worried I'd never accept. I felt a small tug of dread at that. But she was so kind and warm, touching my bare shoulders soothingly and laughing gently all the time, so I didn't find the heart to blame her. She told me we were in the sacred grove where the light siders were taking refuge, and then commented on my nakedness.
I blushed horribly. My clothes incinerated when I transformed. So the Goddess plucked a single arum lily from her garden, smiling at me, and pressed the flower to my breast. The beautiful thing began to spread over my body - the goddess let it finish once before saying "whoops!" and having to pry it off of me before flipping it to the right side and letting it grow again. The lily spread over my breast and stomach beautifully, vines lacing around my torso and weaving into my hair to form a delicate floral bodice. I felt it tighten around me, dressing me and supporting my spine. From the vines suddenly draped a long, flowing skirt, in the colours of water and sunlight. I was clothed with the goddess' flower, given golden bangles on my ears and wrists to match her, robed almost exclusively in verdant green that matched the goddess' hair.
I followed her out into the grove and started healing the fallen, transported here to recuperate. My friends and family bowed to me as I passed and I smiled back, reminding them that I was still me. This soft, verdant time was intercepted with many moments of tension and panic, for the dark side was winning. We were losing ground and soon they would reach our sanctuary of trees and beauty. I was told I need to go fight the prince, and I felt dread again, though at the moment I couldn't clearly remember the reason.
Then the dark siders made it in.
It was chaotic, a mess of fighting and cries. Some parts of the woods were being set on fire. I cried out and fought as many of them as I could, their bodies dissolving into darkness as I touched them. Then I met the prince.
It was my father.
That was why I dreaded fighting him so much. My biological father had been chosen for the dark god. He approached me with his regular smile and called me by nickname, asking me to join them and give up on the weak light goddess who sat idly on her throne. I was mute with horror, as if all my suppressed memory of Father being synonymous with Enemy came rushing back. So I turned and fled, despite the cries of both dad and goddess trailing after me.
I ran to the lake and then ran on the water, the goddess' power allowing me that much. Soon I was in the middle of the lake, and half-heartedly to distract myself I picked up the garbage left by the dark siders there. I could her the Goddess and my father searching for me, calling, but I ignored both. Numbly I recall picking up sludge from the lake, cans, a cellphone, plastic beer rings... I just thought that it doesn't matter what I am meant to do, only matters what I feel I need to do. I refused the goddess' thought, refused to fight dad, and merely walked in the rain, cleaning the lake with my hands.
In this point in the dream I think I died. I think the goddess retracted her power from me, out of pity and necessity, and put it elsewhere. I fell into the lake and stumbled in the water. I did not see my father again at this portion of the dream.
I don't really know if I died. All I knew was the goddess' flower dress wilted on me and I fell. She couldn't depend on me as her princess and urgently needed someone else, so I didn't blame her for her decision. I was spared from fighting my father. The next thing I recall is being one of the many nameless people fighting for light, celebrating with the goddess and reading newspapers during the victory party. There was a part about me, speaking of my life, my love of art, and my untimely demise.
There was a bit more, a continuation of this story. The dream ended unclear because I was woken by my alarm, and even after trying to fall asleep again I dreamed of nothing. I am disappointed because this was a very vivid and plot-based dream, which has become rare as I age. Ugh, stupid alarm...
