Soph here.
Woke up in tears because I had a dream about my family.
It started with my mom talking to Gu Nainai, Lao Ye’s older sister, in a version of our house in Guangzhou. Gu Nainai said “Now that my younger brother has gone to join my older brother, I know I’m the last one left, and I know it might be my time to go soon.” It’s hard to remember what she said because the dream replicated her Henanese accent very well, but hearing what she said felt really alarming.
My mom laughed nervously and said “Aunt, don’t say that, how do you know your younger brother has gone?”
Gu Nainai insisted, “I keep dreaming about him! He keeps visiting me. The children (Sophia’s aunts and uncles, Gu Nainai’s kids) are weeping and trying to hide it from me. I can tell.”
They talked a little more as I sat down at the breakfast table. Mom sat beside me, Grandma sat diagonally across from me. I had a clear view of the front door. The lighting in this dream was a pale, fresh green, like it was spring. Even the drapes were a pale green fluttering in the wind.
Lao Ye came through the front door, cheerfully bobbing his head. He loudly announced, “You guys decorated the door so well, I found my way home!” and came to sit down at the table in front of me. I stared at him and could tell Mom was looking at me funny; I was the only person who could see him. He looked approximately a few years younger, like before the cancer treatment in 2018.
The dream is slipping from me now. He said a bunch of things and I answered and mom just kept looking at me weird. But the one thing I remember him distinctly saying:
“丫丫，谁说你不幸福?” (Yaya, who says you’re not fortunate/happy?)
And he reached over to stroke my shoulder.
I started to cry in the dream. I told him it’s not that I don’t think I’m misfortunate, it’s not that I’m really unhappy. I just miss him. I feel like he got stolen from me. I felt he had more years to go, and I want him at my wedding, and now he can’t come.
Woke up crying, ended up sobbing in bed for a bit because the dream felt so real.
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