Violence never served me.

I had a nightmare last night.

I've had a few dreams this year but I've forgotten to write them down.  This one I should.

Phoebe and Peter had a huge fight last night and I think that's why it affected my dream.  Peter shattered a few dishes in his rage and I don't blame him.  I'm just tired of these unnecessary conflicts.

The dream started with a family living in my house alongside mine.  I don't recall the details, but I refused to do something for their two children, who then proceeded to throw a tantrum.  When I went back to my room, my Ikea display case with my dolls was shattered.  My pillows were torn, my curtains cut, furniture broken, shelves gone.  There was a pile behind my nightstand, remnants of my dolls.

I don't recall the middle of the dream.  All I know is I wove through the house, which had transformed into a quaint brick hotel courtyard of sorts.  When I went to what I recognized as my basement (merged with some sort of large ballroom area? It's hard to describe), I found the two daughters of the family.

I proceeded to beat the shit out of them.

I haven't had a violent dream in a while.  By a while, I mean the last I remember was... I don't know.  I must have been nine or ten or so.  I took a microphone (which is accurate to our basement, filled with audio equipment) and I just... beat them bloody.  I beat one and the other started to cry, and I grabbed the other one and beat her too.  I first knocked them out by a blow to the back of the head, then I just wailed on their faces.  In my dream they didn't bleed, just bruised badly, because you can't really bludgeon someone to death with a microphone.  Even by dream logic I knew that, which is probably why I picked that as a weapon.

It makes me feel a little sick.  I didn't enjoy it. I was filled with rage.

I then went up to my kitchen, where my mother was washing dishes.  I proceeded to smash each dish when my mom immediately began to scold me for what I've done.  I think I was so frustrated because I had to take matters into my own hands, again, like always.  These two girls entered my room and broke everything I owned, and instead of having my back, she was criticizing my actions.  Now that I'm awake, I agree with dream her (lol), but in the moment I lost control and just started to smash everything.  The dream ended with my mom pleading me to stop, but I snapped at her, "There's no point.  Nothing matters.  Let's just break it all."

I woke up to my alarm clock and went to work.